This Just In....Brad Pitt's Shit Actually Does Stink

I know this isn't exactly a news flash, at least not to the people who actually aren't fans of the pretty boy. Everyone already knows the guy's got no talent, the only reason he's got a career is because people think he's hot. We all know he's a dick of epic proportions fucking around on his wife with his co-star. And if he didn't constantly bring up his ex in interviews the world would probably forget about him, which would be fan-fucking-tastic because I'm sick of his face and the pubey beard he keeps growing on it. We know all this...but did you know the dude is an icky perv?
When Pitt is brought up, the first chicks he brings to mind are Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie, but he's dated other well-known chicks in the past before them. Remember he started banging Gwyneth Paltrow when they made Se7en together? He was actually engaged to her for a while and then she moved on to Ben Affleck, who I don't really care for either, but he's the lesser of two evils and his work with Kevin Smith makes him likeable, but this isn't about Assflack, this rant is all for Brad-y Poo...
Do people remember who he was dating before Jolie, before Aniston, before Paltrow? Before he was the doucheriffic assmunch he is today with his....what's that fucking word people use all the time when they talk about all the kids him and Skeletor have together? Brood? I'm going to call it his clusterfuck of kids...
So anyway, before he became whatever the fuck he is today, he was dating Juliette Lewis...which is nasty in and of itself because well, it's Juliette Fucking Lewis...I wanna douche my mouth just saying that name aloud.

She's just that gross...and she's a Scientologist, fuck, I feel dirty. But let's move forward, best not to linger on Ms. Lewis when we've got a bigger satchel of nasty to talk about....
Pitt's relationship with Lewis is remarkable not because he fucked around on his wife with her or because he had a shit load of kid's with her. It's remarkable because when he hooked up with her, she was only six-fucking-teen and he was a full decade her senior. We should have known then that this guy is a elephantine piece of human shit with zero fucking morals.
He fucks around with teenagers, makes shitty movies, has no talent, puts his dick in a corpse-like starlet with swollen vagina lips on her face and procreates, further contaminating the gene pool...and that, my friends, is why Brad Pitt Monkey Spunk suck, blows and takes it up the ass as a human being....and why yes, what comes out his ass really stinks. It reeks. It makes you gag. Brad Pitt, Hollywood Fertilizer.