Man Attempts To Drown Fun And Life Out Of Stepson

While out there having fun in the warm California sun, an asshole attempted to drown his stepson in the guise of a swimming lesson. 21-year-old Jacqorie Charles Stansell is accused of attempted murder and child cruelty after holding the stepson underwater because he got frustrated with the kid’s lack of aquatic skills. In typical dick without a cause fashion, Stansell has pleaded not guilty and remains in custody, with bail set at $1 million.

According to witnesses, Stansell held the boy underwater in an apartment complex pool for 15 minute intervals until the boy appeared to be lifeless. At that point, Stansell tossed the kid out of the pool and then took him home. Apparently the boy actually stopped breathing, but paramedics managed to revive him. From there, the boy was flown to a local hospital for treatment. The kid has since recovered, but has been placed in protective custody, along with his 2-year-old sister. The boy's mother was at home with the younger child while her Dick of the Month was dunking her son underwater like an Oreo in milk.

What the hell happened to strapping water wings on a kid and tossing them into the pool? When did drowning kids like unwanted kittens become the technique for teaching a child to swim? Seriously, people, if you don't have the patience for children, don't have them and don't enter a relationship with someone who does. And Baby Poopers, don't squat and drop kids out of your hoo-ha if you aren’t up to the task of taking care of them or making sure the person you leave them with can be trusted to return them to you alive and unharmed. Just a little bit of fucking caution can save you a whole lot of grief and spare your child from becoming a headline.