Teen Arrested For Setting Furball On Fire

   I don’t really care for cats, but I’m not a fan of animal cruelty either. Despite the name, I actually can’t stand cats. They’re furry little snobby assholes that make you bend over backwards to get their attention. Plus I’m allergic to the bastards. So even though I have my reasons for not being down with the pussies, I find it incredibly fucked up that some teenage punk set one on fire for shits and giggles.

   Back on the 2^nd of May, someone called police to report a flaming cat that had been mistaken for a ball of fire, in West Sacramento’s Circle Park. The smoldering kitty was taken to the UC Davis Veterinary Hospital for treatment and the staff had hoped the cat would survive, but unfortunately they couldn’t save it. The cat, a stray female tabby described as “very friendly”, was in excruciating pain and would lose its limbs because of the extent of the burns, so she had to be put down. According to police, the tabby had been doused in an accelerant and intentionally lit on fire. And here I was, so sure spontaneous feline combustion was real. I don’t want to say “No shit, Sherlock,” but the cat obviously didn’t take a dip in a gas tank and strike a match itself.

   So since the discovery of this fireball feline, police have been investigating, but didn’t have any witnesses to the cat being set aflame. They went house to house, conducting interviews throughout the neighborhood and that eventually led them to the pussy pyro. The teen, who lives close to where the cat was found, confessed to setting the cat on fire and was arrested this morning, but his name hasn’t been released. I’m assuming that’s because he’s still a minor, but this is definitely a kid the law needs to keep its eye on. And maybe find out if he still wets the bed. The teen suspect doesn’t have any prior arrests, but he’s now looking at a cruelty to animals charge, which is a big fat felony.

   His reason for setting the cat on fire was that it was just a “dumb, spur-of-the-moment decision.” I have never looked at a cat and thought, “Well, nothing better to do,” and flicked my Bic. There is something seriously wrong with someone who can think of nothing better to do than set a living creature on fire. That shit is not normal and that little animal suffered horribly in its final hours. It’s just mind-boggling how someone can inflict that kind of pain without even a second thought and not even consider how much pain and terror they’re causing their victim. Hopefully this little shit learns his lesson the hard way and is forever haunted by The Pissed-Off Kitty...

   Today is the start of my weekend, so I’m not doing shit around here until Saturday at the absolute earliest, but I will be stopping in to check on things occasionally. Feel free to leave your tips and links anywhere you want, I’ll see them and maybe I can pawn some shit talking duty off on Shannie.