Woman Viciously Murders Man And His Yogurt Slinger

Cristal Paulette Richardson: The Human Slap-Chop of Penises

     Cristal Paulette Richardson is facing a murder charge in the cock and chode severing death of Cedric Lamont Owens. Owens’ was found dead in Richardson’s Motel 6 room with “multiple stab wounds to his upper body, his throat was cut and there was traumatic amputation of the penis and scrotum,” according to the medical examiner’s report. In other words, Miss Richardson poked a bunch of holes in this guy, slit his throat and pretty much castrated and deboned him. I don’t have a ding-a-ling, so I can’t sympathize there, but the gooch getting lopped made me cringe. Chopping off down to the taint is pretty damn thorough as far as slicing up dick goes, so it’s apparent Richardson really wanted this guy to suffer and pay for something.

     The day before the cock chopping, the motel’s security video showed Richardson renting the room, alone. On Saturday, the day of the dick carving, a security guard said he heard a man and a woman arguing loudly in the third floor room. The guard continued his walk of the motel grounds and then returned to the third floor, where he saw Richardson exit her room, naked and covered in blood. The guard called police, who were allowed into the room by the motel’s manager and they discovered that Richardson was not suffering from a Carrie-like hemorrhage in need of plugging up. Instead they found Owens lying dead in the room and later, after a search warrant was issued, a large and bloody folding knife.

     Richardson was taken to Parkland Memorial Hospital for treatment of “offensive cuts” she received to her hands. The motive for the brutal killing has yet to be established, but both Richardson and Owens had criminal records. Owens had convictions for drug possession, family violence assault and evading arrest. Richardson’s priors were for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, theft, marijuana possession and drunken driving. One has to wonder what in the flying fuck happened in that room that she graduated to phallic decapitation and murder. She is currently being held at the Dallas County Jail, where her bail is set at $200,000. Uncup your junk, fellas, your wieners are safe for the time being.

Anyone else in the mood for sausage?