Teen Arrested For Setting Furball On Fire

   I don’t really care for cats, but I’m not a fan of animal cruelty either. Despite the name, I actually can’t stand cats. They’re furry little snobby assholes that make you bend over backwards to get their attention. Plus I’m allergic to the bastards. So even though I have my reasons for not being down with the pussies, I find it incredibly fucked up that some teenage punk set one on fire for shits and giggles.

   Back on the 2^nd of May, someone called police to report a flaming cat that had been mistaken for a ball of fire, in West Sacramento’s Circle Park. The smoldering kitty was taken to the UC Davis Veterinary Hospital for treatment and the staff had hoped the cat would survive, but unfortunately they couldn’t save it. The cat, a stray female tabby described as “very friendly”, was in excruciating pain and would lose its limbs because of the extent of the burns, so she had to be put down. According to police, the tabby had been doused in an accelerant and intentionally lit on fire. And here I was, so sure spontaneous feline combustion was real. I don’t want to say “No shit, Sherlock,” but the cat obviously didn’t take a dip in a gas tank and strike a match itself.

   So since the discovery of this fireball feline, police have been investigating, but didn’t have any witnesses to the cat being set aflame. They went house to house, conducting interviews throughout the neighborhood and that eventually led them to the pussy pyro. The teen, who lives close to where the cat was found, confessed to setting the cat on fire and was arrested this morning, but his name hasn’t been released. I’m assuming that’s because he’s still a minor, but this is definitely a kid the law needs to keep its eye on. And maybe find out if he still wets the bed. The teen suspect doesn’t have any prior arrests, but he’s now looking at a cruelty to animals charge, which is a big fat felony.

   His reason for setting the cat on fire was that it was just a “dumb, spur-of-the-moment decision.” I have never looked at a cat and thought, “Well, nothing better to do,” and flicked my Bic. There is something seriously wrong with someone who can think of nothing better to do than set a living creature on fire. That shit is not normal and that little animal suffered horribly in its final hours. It’s just mind-boggling how someone can inflict that kind of pain without even a second thought and not even consider how much pain and terror they’re causing their victim. Hopefully this little shit learns his lesson the hard way and is forever haunted by The Pissed-Off Kitty...

   Today is the start of my weekend, so I’m not doing shit around here until Saturday at the absolute earliest, but I will be stopping in to check on things occasionally. Feel free to leave your tips and links anywhere you want, I’ll see them and maybe I can pawn some shit talking duty off on Shannie.

Pregnant Woman Set On Fire And Shot

   While wandering the internet not too long ago, I came across the craziest story of a pregnant womanwho was kidnapped, set on fire and shot. If all that isn’t nutty enough, she and the unborn baby are expected to survive, thankfully, and the father of her unborn child has been arrested. Well, considering all the shit we read and news we chance upon, maybe this isn’t the craziest story after all. Shannie’s tales of Long Island Duck Rape are probably crazier, but I still found this story pretty batshit.

   So apparently what happened is this nine months pregnant 22-year-old woman went out to a movie with her ex-boyfriend who is also the father of the baby she’s carrying and afterwards, she took him to the home of his new girlfriend to drop him off. When they got there, the ex-boyfriend opened the door of the garage and told her to pull in. She had just pulled in when the ex-boyfriend pulls the garage door shut, basically trapping her inside. She’s then grabbed by the neck and a gun is put to her head. At some point, her hands, feet and mouth are duct taped and she’s thrown into the back seat of the car, only to be driven to another location.

   On this trip to fuck knows where, the assailant, who the victim never catches a glimpse of, tells the pregnant woman that she “knows why this is happening” and once they arrive at the intended destination, the woman is doused in lighter fluid and has a lit match tossed at her. She manages to get out of the car somehow and starts rolling around on the ground to put out the flames, which she does. And that’s when the shooting happens. Two shots rang out, according to the victim, but she was only struck by one, in the back. To save her life and the life of her unborn child, the victim plays dead and the perpetrator takes off running.

   Wounded, but still alive, the victim eventually frees herself from the duct tape and manages to drive to her mother’s house. The victim believes her mother may be in danger as well, stating that at her baby shower on May 7^th, a man pointed a gun at her mother. Police say they believe the motive involves paternity, to which I say, “no shit?” Warren Police Commissioner Jere Green stated that the ex-boyfriend isn’t happy that he’s about the pregnancy and has a criminal past that involves armed robbery, drugs and stolen vehicle charges. Commissioner Green also says they believe the ex-boyfriend saw the abduction happen, but say he never called 911.

   For fuck’s sake people, has the Scott Peterson case taught these dumbfucks nothing? You don’t want a baby and or to be attached for like to one woman, keep it in your damn pants and don’t get with a broad you don’t want to commit to. Murdering a woman and your unborn child does not equal single bachelor, free to fuck and worry free. It gets you locked up with nothing but ass rape and forced mouth hugs. Is that really the best alternative to having a kid with a woman you want nothing to do with anymore and paying a little child support? Think about it, consider your options and then get your dick snipped so you can’t have any more unwanted children. Murder is not a form of birth control.