Colorado Shooting Brings Out the Best and the Worst

Jamie Rohrs, Patricia Legarreta and the dropped baby

You never know how you're going to react when the shit hits the fan until it does. Some people nut up and will take a bullet for a stranger, like 19-year-old Jarell Brooks. Some people piss themselves and run for the hills, like 25-year-old Jamie Rohrs. On the night of the tragic"The Dark Knight Rises" premier in Colorado, Rohrs was in the midnight showing with his girlfriend, 25-year-old Patricia Legarreta, their 4-year-old daughter and 4-month-old son.  While most people wouldn't bring such young children to a shoot-em-up movie like this, especially not at midnight, the young couple defends their decision by pointing out that they believed the children would sleep through the special affects and explosions. Yeah, they're those dickwads that bring a baby to a movie theater, that they have no business being in, to cry and disturb everyone around them, making it impossible to hear shit.

Rohrs was holding his 4 month old son and Legarreta was sitting next to their 4-year-old daughter, who was sleeping with her head in her mother's lap, when 24-year-old Jason Holmes burst through the emergency exit throwing tear gas and raining down  a hail of bullets on the audience. That's when Rohrs told Legarreta to get down as he started ducking and diving to get out of the theater with his baby in his arms. As Rohrs was making his way out of danger, he somehow managed to lose his baby. He doesn't remember when he "sat" the baby down or "laid" the baby down, but he thankfully he did so near Legarreta. So in other words, as soon as the shit hit the fan, he dropped his baby and ran like a bitch. After deserting his family, he jumped off the second floor balcony, where they had been sitting, and didn't let the door hit him in the ass as he ran out of the theater. At some point Legarreta, who saw her baby laying on the ground with his father nowhere in sight, grabbed her son as she was shielding her daughter with her body and took a shrapnel wound to her leg.

Now this is where our hero of the story comes in. Jarell Brooks sees the young mother protecting her babies and struggling to get them out of there. Brooks gets behind Legarretta and pushes her into the aisle infront of him, making sure that she and the kids get out. As they are making their way out of the theater, Brooks gets shot in the leg. If he had not have been there, Legarreta would have been seriously injured or possibly one of the kids. The bullet hit Brooks in the thigh. Think about how tall a 4-year-old is when they stand. Yeah, that would have been a headshot for the little girl if Brooks had not been there. Brooks, who didn't know any of these people, literally took a bullet for strangers when their own "man" of the house left them in the theater to be shot by a madman who thinks he's the Joker or some shit.

Well, Legarreta and the kids managed to make it out somewhat safe and sound, other than the shrapnel wound. When she finally made it out and started looking for her baby daddy, she had to call him on the phone so HE COULD DRIVE BACK to the movie theater to pick them up. So, after dropping his baby and leaving his girlfriend and her daughter in a fucking warzone, he didn't stop running when he got outside, but actually got in a car and drove the fuck off. What kind of person does this? When Rohrs finally made his sorry ass back to pick up his family that he abandoned, they made the trip to the hospital. I guess that Rohrs finally realized what a pussy ass mother fucker he is and decided to make amends by proposing to his lady love. Legerreta, being the forgiving type, accepted. Now Rohrs and Legarreta have been making the news rounds telling their story. Yeah, I don't get that shit. If I left my kids and loved ones to a shooting madman, that's some shit I'd take to the grave. While telling their story, I also notice that they left out the part where a 19-year-old stranger manned up and saved Legerreta's ass from being more seriously injured or possibly killed. Brooks's side of the story didn't come out until several days after Rohrs and Legerrata went telling the world what they went through. I guess they conveniently forgot his role in stepping in when Rohrs didn't. Rohrs has been crying his bitch ass off during interviews, and seems to think shit like that makes it okay to leave your family to die because he's all remorseful now. Thankfully, the babies are safe and Legerreta is going to be ok. But I still don't understand for the life of me why the hell she would accept Rohrs's proposal after seeing his true colors. Oh well, to each their own.

Guardian Angel Jarrell Brooks

Another Instance of Child Abuse Caught on Tape

I was making my rounds on the world wide web today and came across a video that was taken by the neighbor of Anthony Sanchez, who is an official with a California water agency. The video is of Sanchez playing ball with his step-son, which sounds like it would be a great father-son experience except that Sanchez is a bastard who thinks a kid having butterfingers is an offense worthy of physical punishment. Being an epic asshole, Sanchez repeatedly crosses the distance between him and his step son and whips the child with a belt. The boys reaction every time he is hit is incredibly hard to watch. It is terrible. Belts hurt pretty damn bad and you can see this son of a bitch is putting some force in the belt lashings. You've been forewarned, this video is pretty hard to watch and will have you pissed from the the very beginning.

Now the very awesome part of all this is Mr. Sanchez's totally badass neighbor. The guy is recording this horrible abuse against this kid, likely just so there's evidence, and finally he has enough of it. He storms outside, calling out the fantastic words, "That's enough, fuckstick!" This dude is my fucking hero. The neighbor confronts Sanchez and there's a bit of back and forth, but the video ends abruptly and we miss what, if anything, happened between the two. What we do know, though, is that the neighbor turned the video over to sheriff's investigators and Sanchez was arrested for suspicion of felony child abuse. While no actual charges have been filed yet, Anthony Sanchez has resigned as utility district director for the Imperial Irrigation District. 

It seems at some point in the video a person in the background asks where the mom is and the man recording the video says, "Inside the house" which leads one to believe this kid's mom knew about the shit going on in her own backyard and was A-O-Fucking-Kay with it. And if a piece of shit like Mr. Sanchez is willing to put his hands on his step-son over something as petty as dropping a bat, fuck only knows what other minor offenses this taint stain has whipped the kid over. I know back in the day getting belt whooped was the en vogue punishment, but this shit is just not acceptable anymore. Kids are being hurt and killed and discarded by the very people who are supposed to take care of and protect them. A belt spanking may pale in comparison to the stories of abuse we come across, but a child being hurt in any way is still going to piss people the fuck off. At least people who give a shit and want this crap to stop. I'm gonna have to steal and sort of bastardize a Samuel L. Jackson line from a shit awful movie to bring this write-up to a close..."Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking planet!"

Anthony Sanchez, Occupation: Fuckstick

Nick Ring: The Greatest Canadian Hero

Nick Ring, grounding and pounding the shit out of crime.

I found out about this story the other day, but because I cherish my slacker days, I put off tossing it up here until today. I’ve mentioned Nick Ring before in the write-up about the gay-for-pay dude that was trying to become The Ultimate Fighter and ended up sucking balls, literally and figuratively. Since first seeing Nick Ring in the Chuck vs. Tito season of TUF, I thought Ring was seriously gay as fuck. I don’t mean lame, I mean flaming. He was a pretty good MMA fighter, but pulled out of the competition because of his bum knee. The dude isn’t really known for much else, but now he gets to join the ranks of other MMA fighters turned heroes, which is great because if anything it proves not all fighters are meatheads and rapists…Yeah, Mike Whitehead, I’m looking at you, fuckwad.

What did Nick Ring do to earn this honorable distinction? Ring was leaving a Calgary Starbucks when, as fate would have it, he witnessed a group of about 10 teeny bop thugs assaulting a couple, also teenagers. The thuggish teentards were beating down the couple in an attempt to rob them. Ring described the melee as pretty hardcore, saying he pulled his car over to see the female half of the assaulted couple being kneed in the face. At that point, Ring gets out of the car and yells, “What's going here?” only for one of the assailants, the one girl in this gang of douches, to rip the backpack off of the female victim’s back and take off running. That then got the entire group of assholes running off, leaving the couple cut up and bleeding.

Ring checked out the couple to make sure their injuries weren’t life-threatening and then, like fucking Major Mapleleaf, he took off after the little snot-nosed punks. He and another good Samaritan chased the felons-in-training about six blocks and caught the slowest of the bunch, who bitched and moaned, saying he didn’t do anything. Only three of the teenagers were arrested and charged with assault, but Calgary police are still investigating to bring the rest of the bastards to justice. Nick Ring appears to be pretty humble about the whole thing, but I think dude deserves to be a little cocky about it. He even busted out a sweet Marvel-quality line, saying, “If you have the ability to help somebody, you have the responsibility to help somebody.” Bravo, Mr. Ring.

Ring is due to step into the Octagon to face Court McGee at UFC 149 on July 21^st. I love Court too much to root against him in this rematch, but I wish Ring luck and if he does manage to pull off a victory, I won’t be too sore that Court didn’t win. 

Picture Ring as the Canadian version of this.