Saturday, June 9, 2012

Nick Ring: The Greatest Canadian Hero

Nick Ring, grounding and pounding the shit out of crime.

I found out about this story the other day, but because I cherish my slacker days, I put off tossing it up here until today. I’ve mentioned Nick Ring before in the write-up about the gay-for-pay dude that was trying to become The Ultimate Fighter and ended up sucking balls, literally and figuratively. Since first seeing Nick Ring in the Chuck vs. Tito season of TUF, I thought Ring was seriously gay as fuck. I don’t mean lame, I mean flaming. He was a pretty good MMA fighter, but pulled out of the competition because of his bum knee. The dude isn’t really known for much else, but now he gets to join the ranks of other MMA fighters turned heroes, which is great because if anything it proves not all fighters are meatheads and rapists…Yeah, Mike Whitehead, I’m looking at you, fuckwad.

What did Nick Ring do to earn this honorable distinction? Ring was leaving a Calgary Starbucks when, as fate would have it, he witnessed a group of about 10 teeny bop thugs assaulting a couple, also teenagers. The thuggish teentards were beating down the couple in an attempt to rob them. Ring described the melee as pretty hardcore, saying he pulled his car over to see the female half of the assaulted couple being kneed in the face. At that point, Ring gets out of the car and yells, “What's going here?” only for one of the assailants, the one girl in this gang of douches, to rip the backpack off of the female victim’s back and take off running. That then got the entire group of assholes running off, leaving the couple cut up and bleeding.

Ring checked out the couple to make sure their injuries weren’t life-threatening and then, like fucking Major Mapleleaf, he took off after the little snot-nosed punks. He and another good Samaritan chased the felons-in-training about six blocks and caught the slowest of the bunch, who bitched and moaned, saying he didn’t do anything. Only three of the teenagers were arrested and charged with assault, but Calgary police are still investigating to bring the rest of the bastards to justice. Nick Ring appears to be pretty humble about the whole thing, but I think dude deserves to be a little cocky about it. He even busted out a sweet Marvel-quality line, saying, “If you have the ability to help somebody, you have the responsibility to help somebody.” Bravo, Mr. Ring.

Ring is due to step into the Octagon to face Court McGee at UFC 149 on July 21st. I love Court too much to root against him in this rematch, but I wish Ring luck and if he does manage to pull off a victory, I won’t be too sore that Court didn’t win. 
Picture Ring as the Canadian version of this.

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