Octomom: Living the Dream

Blowing kisses and killing boners everywhere.

In the spirit of the All American can-do-attitude Nadya Suleman, aka Octomom. has pulled herself up by her stripper heels and gotten herself and her tribe of children off of Welfare! We can all sleep better at night knowing that Octomom has done her part in helping California get out of it's $16 billion deficit by no longer needing hand outs. Between Octomom's nudie pics of her scarred and stretch marked tummy, horrific fap porn (that she emphatically stated she would never do, but, you know, bitch gotta get a manicure) and pole sliding, she has managed to pull in 6 figures already. It goes to show you that Plain Jane girls anywhere in this great land of opportunity can get a hellacious amount of bad plastic surgery, implant her womb with a litter of chirruns and dance her way into Stardom. A place where any ole ho can drive their parents into bankruptcy by living with them and her horde of nose pickers and then move into a half million dollar house that you don't have to pay for and let your kids destroy that shit.

The ever classy and beautiful (hork) Suleman has only been stripping for a couple of weeks now, but apparently has had people throwing fistfuls of dollars at her shimmy and shake. I have to wonder if the highlight of her routine is making the pole completely disappear by hiding it in her clown car lady bits sideways. You know that shit could totally fit after spitting out 14 kids in just 4 pregnancy's without a thought to how she would support them or herself. Her snatch doubles as a blow pop dispenser with so many sticks hanging out her g-string, I imagine it to look like a dozen tampons shoved up there to stem the flood gates of her red flow every time she spreads her hamhocks. One day her little girls are going to look up at their Mommy and be so proud to know that she brought them out of the depths of despair by sexing it up to a curious and no doubt now mentally scared adoring public. Octomom has proven to the world that her latest welfare stint was only temporary as she said. Well done, Ms. Suleman, well done.

Working hard for the money

Colorado Shooting Brings Out the Best and the Worst

Jamie Rohrs, Patricia Legarreta and the dropped baby

You never know how you're going to react when the shit hits the fan until it does. Some people nut up and will take a bullet for a stranger, like 19-year-old Jarell Brooks. Some people piss themselves and run for the hills, like 25-year-old Jamie Rohrs. On the night of the tragic"The Dark Knight Rises" premier in Colorado, Rohrs was in the midnight showing with his girlfriend, 25-year-old Patricia Legarreta, their 4-year-old daughter and 4-month-old son.  While most people wouldn't bring such young children to a shoot-em-up movie like this, especially not at midnight, the young couple defends their decision by pointing out that they believed the children would sleep through the special affects and explosions. Yeah, they're those dickwads that bring a baby to a movie theater, that they have no business being in, to cry and disturb everyone around them, making it impossible to hear shit.

Rohrs was holding his 4 month old son and Legarreta was sitting next to their 4-year-old daughter, who was sleeping with her head in her mother's lap, when 24-year-old Jason Holmes burst through the emergency exit throwing tear gas and raining down  a hail of bullets on the audience. That's when Rohrs told Legarreta to get down as he started ducking and diving to get out of the theater with his baby in his arms. As Rohrs was making his way out of danger, he somehow managed to lose his baby. He doesn't remember when he "sat" the baby down or "laid" the baby down, but he thankfully he did so near Legarreta. So in other words, as soon as the shit hit the fan, he dropped his baby and ran like a bitch. After deserting his family, he jumped off the second floor balcony, where they had been sitting, and didn't let the door hit him in the ass as he ran out of the theater. At some point Legarreta, who saw her baby laying on the ground with his father nowhere in sight, grabbed her son as she was shielding her daughter with her body and took a shrapnel wound to her leg.

Now this is where our hero of the story comes in. Jarell Brooks sees the young mother protecting her babies and struggling to get them out of there. Brooks gets behind Legarretta and pushes her into the aisle infront of him, making sure that she and the kids get out. As they are making their way out of the theater, Brooks gets shot in the leg. If he had not have been there, Legarreta would have been seriously injured or possibly one of the kids. The bullet hit Brooks in the thigh. Think about how tall a 4-year-old is when they stand. Yeah, that would have been a headshot for the little girl if Brooks had not been there. Brooks, who didn't know any of these people, literally took a bullet for strangers when their own "man" of the house left them in the theater to be shot by a madman who thinks he's the Joker or some shit.

Well, Legarreta and the kids managed to make it out somewhat safe and sound, other than the shrapnel wound. When she finally made it out and started looking for her baby daddy, she had to call him on the phone so HE COULD DRIVE BACK to the movie theater to pick them up. So, after dropping his baby and leaving his girlfriend and her daughter in a fucking warzone, he didn't stop running when he got outside, but actually got in a car and drove the fuck off. What kind of person does this? When Rohrs finally made his sorry ass back to pick up his family that he abandoned, they made the trip to the hospital. I guess that Rohrs finally realized what a pussy ass mother fucker he is and decided to make amends by proposing to his lady love. Legerreta, being the forgiving type, accepted. Now Rohrs and Legarreta have been making the news rounds telling their story. Yeah, I don't get that shit. If I left my kids and loved ones to a shooting madman, that's some shit I'd take to the grave. While telling their story, I also notice that they left out the part where a 19-year-old stranger manned up and saved Legerreta's ass from being more seriously injured or possibly killed. Brooks's side of the story didn't come out until several days after Rohrs and Legerrata went telling the world what they went through. I guess they conveniently forgot his role in stepping in when Rohrs didn't. Rohrs has been crying his bitch ass off during interviews, and seems to think shit like that makes it okay to leave your family to die because he's all remorseful now. Thankfully, the babies are safe and Legerreta is going to be ok. But I still don't understand for the life of me why the hell she would accept Rohrs's proposal after seeing his true colors. Oh well, to each their own.

Guardian Angel Jarrell Brooks

Getting Closer to the Real Reason Behind a Douchebag Dad's Decision to Deny His Daughter's Wish

Yesterday, I did a write-up about cockstain William May, the asshole who denied his 4-year-old daughter, who battled cancer for half her life and is currently in remission, her wish to go to Disney World. Make-A-Wish was going to take care of all the expenses, but May decided to pull the fantastically dickish move to not sign off on the trip, which the foundation required as May now has visitation rights. Now, many thought May pulled this shit to get back at McKenna's mother and grandmother, who he says "didn't allow" him to be part of McKenna's life or be there while she battled cancer. According to a comment left on the video below of dipstick dad's interview, May couldn't be bothered to help and never went to McKenna's birthday parties when she was in the hospital. His excuses for that are that he was told not to come and that every time she was in the hospital he was told after the fact. Seriously, dude? You're child was sick with cancer and you weren't calling to check in on her to see how she was doing daily or at least every other day of your own volition? May does a lot of blaming McKenna's mother and grandmother for his own inaction and lack of motivation to play a vital role in her life. So maybe there's a valid reason as to why this jackass was only recently given visitation. Or maybe mom and grandma did keep him from her, but with this dude's shitty disregard for the happiness of his child, who can blame them?

So May's reason for not wanting McKenna to get her wish is that other children that may only have 6 months to live should get the trip because she's "cured", apparently not understanding what remission is. A few people thought his stance was noble, saying how awesome it is that he would put the terminally ill children before his daughter. What those people fail to realize is that May's just slinging bullshit and that isn't the actual reason, even sticking it to McKenna's mother and grandmother isn't the whole reason. It turns out, May didn't sign off on the trip to Disney World because his own wife and family wouldn't be able to go on Make-A-Wish's dime and if his family wasn't going, then neither was McKenna and her mother's family. Make-A-Wish would have been sending McKenna, a sibling, her mother and grandmother on the trip, but May was apparently miffed that the charity wouldn't pay for him, his wife and their 4 children to go as well. McKenna's mother, Whitney Hughes, told him that Make-A-Wish would pay for him to go on the trip for the last few days of it, but not May's whole family. The reason Make-A-Wish would be paying for McKenna, her sibling, mother and grandmother is because she lives with them. So the dude is pissed that his family didn't get the free trip when all he has is visitation with McKenna, not custody, nor does she live with him.This guy is a bigger piece of shit than anyone originally thought.

In his interview below, May also says McKenna's mother and grandmother just went public and asked for donations to get rich, but I guess he didn't know at the time that the money not needed for the trip would be going back to charity, towards other children who have wishes of their own and, hopefully, don't have a parent as vindictive and self-serving as this asshole. I'm blown away that someone can be this petty and shitty of a person, that they would deny their kid who went through 2 years of hell battling cancer a few days of happiness. She may be in remission, but she deserves that trip for all she went through and this fuckwad is being a prick because him and his family don't get a free trip. Mother fucker wants to take his family to Disney World, he can pay for it himself, not use his cancer surviving daughter to get free trips for his wife and 4 kids. His alternative gift idea of a swing set of sand box in the backyard, he can pay for that shit himself, too. This guy is just such a turd. How fucking dare he try to use terminally ill children as his excuse for denying McKenna her wish when his real reason is petty jealousy and selfishness. Grow a fucking sack and pay your own way, asshole.

Dickhead Dad Denies Cancer Survivor Daughter Disney World Wish

McKenna May just wants to see Mickey and the rest of the Disney Crew. I think she's earned it.

 In a supremely dickheaded move, Ohio father William May has denied his 4-year-old daughter her “wish” to go to Disney World. His daughter, McKenna May, is a cancer survivor, having battled leukemia for the last 2 years, and the Make A Wish Foundation had approved her dream of going to Disneyworld, a trip that had to be cancelled twice due to how ill cancer and the treatments had made McKenna. Now the little girl’s cancer is in remission and her father says that children sicker than his daughter and with little time left should get their wish instead, and refused to sign the consent form needed for McKenna to take the trip. William May was only recently granted visitation with his daughter and it’s a requirement of Make A Wish that if the other parent is on the birth certificate or has visitation rights, both parents must give consent. 

McKenna’s mother, Whitney Hughes, and grandmother, Lori Helppie, say May wasn’t present during most of the girl’s treatment and is denying McKenna’s “wish” to be spiteful. May himself admitted that he was “ticked off” about not being involved, but this is a guy who was only recently granted visitation rights and then turns around and thwarts his child from seeing Cinderella. May and Hughes were never married nor living together, having conceived McKenna after what’s being reported as a “brief relationship” and May is now married to a different woman. He says Hughes wanted to use the trip to Disney to house shop to prevent him from getting his bi-weekly visits with his daughter, but his main excuse is that his daughter is now cancer-free and shouldn’t get the trip so another child can have their “wish” fulfilled. He’s basically saying the 15 spinal taps, multiple chemotherapy treatments, series of steroid injects and numerous hospital visits McKenna endured while fighting cancer shouldn’t be rewarded on the charity dime, even though McKenna qualifies for the “wish”. May claims she is cured, but McKenna won’t actually be declared cancer-free until 5 years after her last treatment, which was just last month. 

William May, making himself look like shit.

 President and CEO of Make-A-Wish for the Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana area, Susan McConnell, said, “The doctors are the ones who determine if she is qualified. She's been through a lot. What I really feel bad about is she is stuck in the middle.” Stuck in the middle because of an asshole with a half-assed revenge plot that hurts his daughter more than anyone else. William May says, “There’s children out there that deserve a trip like this that will never get to experience it. My daughter can go when she’s older and can remember it. I’ll pay for it.” Who knows when that would be and May also doesn’t seem to realize that no one knows just how much time they have. Yes, McKenna’s cancer is in remission, but what if it came back? I know I would feel like a supreme piece of shit if I denied a child something like this under such a flimsy pretense and then that child never got the chance to have that dream fulfilled in their lifetime. Man the fuck up, May, and stop taking shit out on your kid because you’re pissed at her mother.

This has zero to do with this guy wanting other children sicker than his daughter to receive their “wish” instead of McKenna and everything to do with him wanting to stick it to his daughter’s mother for what he sees as a slight against him. He’s made it all about him by denying his daughter something she has wanted and talked about for months and is finally healthy enough to enjoy. If he was so adamantly against the charity paying for McKenna’s wish, why isn’t he paying for the trip himself now? His alternative is that McKenna should receive a $200 swing set for the backyard. Yeah, that totally compares to Disney World. He says he would pay for the trip himself when he can, but in the meantime his daughter, who has gone through hell for half her life, shouldn’t get to see Mickey and Co just because he’s a petty broke ass punk? That is not fair at all and complete bullshit that he would use his child to get to her mother because he’s a pissed little bitch of a boy.

Luckily, through the charitable nature of those with a heart, McKenna will be getting her trip to Disney World after all. Her mother and grandmother asked the public for donations so that McKenna can get her trip and that public has come through and shown there still is a whole lot of good in people. As of yesterday, donations topped $12,000, with more money still being collected. McKenna’s mother and grandmother say people have also offered cars and homes, but all they want is for McKenna to get her wish and will be donating the surplus amount of donation money not needed for the trip to Jamie's Dream Team, a nonprofit group in White Oak, Pa. So, in a truly awesome move, they are giving back to charity and helping others, while McKenna’s douche dad is just not letting his kid go while trying to pass his bullshit off as some faux noble stand to help other kids that are more worthy than his. I should add that when McKenna’s mother broke it to her that they wouldn’t get to go to Disney World, she didn’t tell her why. She kept the fact that her father was being a vindictive cockstain from her and told McKenna that even though they wouldn’t be going to Disney World yet, she would get her there someday. Thanks to the kindness of strangers, though, McKenna gets to go sooner rather than later. Bravo, America.

McKenna with her mother, Whitney Hughes.

Chick-fil-A Hates Gays And Pays Others to Spread It

I guess I should have figured Chick-fil-A was something Holy Roly, since they’re closed on Sundays, but I didn’t expect them to be blatant gay haters. Dan Cathy, the president of Chick-fil-A came out recently as an anti-homolien dicktard, stating that he and his fast food slop organization are “guilty as charged” when it comes to their anti-gay sentiments and opposition of gay marriage. They are so hateful and homophobic, that they’ve donated millions to anti-LGBT groups. 

According to Cathy, he believes “we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say, 'We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.’ I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about." I know I just ranted about religion and what not like a week ago, but this is too ridiculous to let slide. This guy and his business are taking their cues from a book that’s older than dirt and trying to force it down our throats, accusing us all of bringing down the wrath of God for allowing others to live their lives as they choose without interference. That is bullshit.

Cathy says Chick-fil-A is “very much supportive of the family—the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that." Holy-fucking-shit, married to their first wives still?  Well, gosh golly, they are damn near saintly, aren’t they? Still being married to your first means jack shit and using that as an example as to why you’re close to godliness is a miserable fail. This generation is supposedly prideful, but this jackass thinks he has some God given right to dictate who should be allowed to marry? And not only that, but he proudly donates money to organizations that openly hate and harass homosexuals.

Cathy wrapped up his Anti-Gay Pride statements with, "We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles." There’s a difference between sharing and forcefully shoving “values” down peoples’ throats. And I think all he wants to “share” is his convoluted message he thinks is from God and convert gays back to straight. Sorry, buddy, that’s not going to happen. You know, since the whole “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it” thing. Yeah, you may oppose Gay Marriage, but guess what? They still get down with their bad selves and have lots of that gay sex that you’re so offended by. Not letting them get married may make you assholes feel like you’ve won some kind of victory over those “abominable” queers, but all you’ve really done, is spare them the messy hassle of divorce. They are still going to love each other and kiss and make fuck and have children and be happy, living their lives in the open with who they want to be with, regardless of whether they have that slip of paper that makes it official.

It’s bullshit to invoke the Word as interpreted by the fanatical and use it against others, to deprive them of their rights and make them miserable. Religion can be good, but it’s shit like this that makes people so rabidly pissed at those that would call themselves “Christians”, while acting the complete opposite. Where’s the fucking brotherly love? And if we’re supposed to be living life as defined by biblical standards, why is it that polygamy is a no-no and that fathers fucking and impregnating their daughters is a big fat felony? It may have been fine and fucking dandy in the old days, but what was a go in biblical times just does not fly in the here and now and people have to evolve. Not in the Darwin sense, but times change and we have to change with them. This isn’t the AD’s and early BC’s, when pedo shit was acceptable and you could club a man to death for stealing your sheep. Times have changed and you need to get with the program. Or you can stew in your irrational hallelujah hatred, but you’re going to have to deal with the fact that homosexuality is here to stay and it's not hiding in the closet anymore.

I’ve never had Chick-fil-A, I don’t even think there is one in my city, but I sure as fuck am not going to start eating it now. So screw you, Chick-fil-A and just keep on choking your chickens, but stay the fuck out of people’s marriages!