Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Jon Lovitz Takes On Maple Syrup Nazis

Jon Lovitz Isn't Taking Any Crap
     Get your pancakes plated and your waffles ironed, Maple Syrup Nazis are making the rounds. While twatting it up in the cyber-verse today, I came across a story involving Jon Lovitz and a trio of nasty teenage girls. No, it's not anything sexual. Apparently this threesome of teeny bop bitches have been bullying the daughter of one of Lovitz's childhood friends in one of the shittiest ways possible. Literally. They dumped shit on the porch of this girl's home, but that's actually not the worst of it. No, these cunty little assholes took it a step further and wrote the word "JEW" and a couple of swastikas on the walkway of the home as well, in maple syrup.
     I don't know what the significance of the maple syrup is, maybe it has something to do with the Hollywood outbreak of Canadian Jews, which I didn't even know existed until Seth Rogen hit it big. Whatever the case, I'm doubting the story of a little white girl being picked on is going to make huge headlines, but Jon Lovitz, bless his creepy heart, is doing his damnedest to get the word out there. Taking to his Twitter page, Lovitz tweeted a pic of the "prank" with the message, "Some coward & idiot left this on a friend's doorstep, yesterday. This is an insult to all of us." I guess later that same day, Lovitz came across a photo of the teen terrors and posted it up in a tweet, with the accompanying message, "The 3 girls who are bullying my friend's daughter. They want to be known. Let them be famous as Jew haters. Pls RT." Bravo, Lovitz.
Yeah, those are some tough little skeezes right there...cue eyeroll.
     What's really disappointing in this case, is that the only person that may possibly be charged is the mother of one of the girl's. Apparently this brilliant breeder decided an anti-Semitic message squirted in syrup was a great idea and drove the three she-creatures to the bullied girl's house in the middle of the night. Great parenting, right? Police say since the shit and syrup didn't leave any permanent damage to the property, it isn't a hate crime and Lovitz is calling it a "hate incident". Pretty fucked up when you think had this happened to another race, it would have been made a HUGE deal of and assholes would be taking to the streets in protest and acting like fools, demanding justice. Shitty, huh?
     I applaud Jon Lovitz's efforts, though. I actually really do love it when celebrities or people with some clout actually speak out and use their voice to get out an important message. And I fucking can't stand celebs, for the most part, but speaking out when they can be heard loudest above all us Average Joe's is commendable. Lovitz says he was a bullied as a kid and I totally buy it, 'cause dude is kinda weird and has always semi-grossed me out, but fucker cracks me up sometimes. Sure, this girl being terrorized is probably some richie rich, but the message still matters. This kind of bullshit is not okay. Ever.
     Reading that the Trio of Twatty weren't going to face charges probably was a tad of a downer, huh? Well, this Tale of Bad Girls Gone Racist goes out on a good note. Lovitz took to Twitter again tonight with a sweet tweet, "UPDATE!!!! The three girls who vandalized my friends home with swastikas and dog crap, have been expelled from their school permanently." I love happy endings.
On Yahoo's article, I found this comment by user DMalenfant hilarious: "You know what is really funny, those girls can't draw a swastikas to save their inner Hitler. No really look at them, if they didn't spell jew correctly, this would be a retard crime."


  1. That IS a hate crime!!! How could it not be?? Because it washes off?? That's f@#!ing ridiculous! It doesn't wash off the persons memory, heart, fellings! Does it? Is that the law? If so that needs to be changed. I don't see how it even is the law. You can be guilty of a hate crime(s), for speaking/performing hate, can't you? I didn't know it had to be in permanent, Sharpie marker!?

    You wonder why the world is so messed up? Look who drove these kids to the girls house. One of their MOTHERS. Wow. I don't know how many people follow Jon's Twitter, but I hope this is made more public. Those girls and the mother should be charged with HATE CRIMES.

    The comment that you found IS funny and it's true. If you're going to follow through with a hate crime, could you at least do some research...

  2. Lolz my kind of humor. Your blog not the story content. Also loved your internet fight pic.

  3. Something isn't right. How is it possible this is not a hate crime? So are they charged with ANYTHING criminal? Trespass, "hate incident", putting shit in someone's yard, vandalism? No, I can't believe a mother was involved in this and she deserves to be prosecuted also. She should also be investigated by DHS. Outrageous!