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Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Outbreak of an Internet Epidemic
Get your vaccinations and keep the penicillin handy, people, we have a pandemic on our hands. A wave of infirmity is sweeping the World Wide Web...and you could be next..if you're hard up for attention and have zero friends. What is this mysterious disease that has people on disability, hopped up on pain killers and is causing a cluster of support groups to pop up all over a defunct crime site? Well, it isn't exactly a disease, or even just one disease, that has people all over a site run by the Village Voice riddled with the symptoms of this vicious condition. It's Munchausen by Internet...and it could be coming to a site near you.
Example of Munchausen by Internet
What is Munchausen by Internet, you may be wondering? Well, let me give you the jest. In a nutshell, it's basically a bunch of seriously fucked up people going on the internet, bitching and moaning about things that are wrong with them, adding to the list to one up each other should someone else have a better or more exotic disease, and all in an attempt to gain sympathy and internet friends. And it doesn't even have to be a disease. The newest trend in this vicious cycle of internet hypochondria is to make up stories of abuse and violence, create elaborate sob stories of a life less ordinary or the invention of a sudden and previously undiagnosed mental disease.
One Upping the Sympathy Competition
One of the biggest trends on the make believe syndrome haute list is suddenly being diagnosed as bi-polar. A close second is cancer. Running neck and neck with cancer is the sudden unprompted disclosure of sexual abuse, or rape. And those inexplicably displaying these symptoms of Munchausen are on pain killers or anti-depressants and their number one treatment option is to discuss ad nauseam online every last little thing supposedly wrong with them while desperately attempting to one up someone else in the group should the other person be suffering from a pretend disease deemed more life-threatening, though completely not true. All in the name of getting the biggest cyber hug and the most attention.
Dramatization of a Munchausen by Internet Victim
Munchausen by Internet seems to also have an odd affect on those not infected by the disease, but influenced by it's sufferers. Those that are unaffected lose their ability to call bullshit or slap sense into victims of this brain addling disease. An unfortunate and tragic side affect of having no life outside of the internet. If you or someone you know starts to display any of these symptoms, call the CDC or your local loony bin. Please avoid coming into contact with a person affected with Munchausen by Internet and steer clear of True Crime Report, it's currently under quarantine. The more you know....