Sunday, January 15, 2012

Beyonce Had A Baby! Who Gives A Shit?

So Beyonce had her kid, big fucking whoop, right? I could actually care less that another celebrity birthed a child...regular people have been doing it for centuries, without all the fanfare. The story I want to focus on is the bullshit drama the hospital staff had to deal with because this bad singer, worse actress and her Big Pimpin' baby daddy are so full of themselves and their celebrity that they had to essentially take over an entire hospital.
So, according to reports around the web, the Obsessed actress rented out a suite (who knew they had full fucking suites in hospitals?) and took over an entire floor. When she checked in, her and her entourage (or whatever the fuck they call their beck and call people) demanded the hospital staff hand over their cell phones and that they place tape over security cameras. I guess the tape over the lenses was so there wouldn't be any footage of her looking like shit being wheeled down the hall, which makes sense for wain celebrities, but security cams are there for a reason...and it's not for getting bad footage of a shitty diva. It's for security reasons. Them taking personnel's cell phones was also ridiculous, but makes more sense than shutting down all the security cams.
Along with those measures, she also had her own security, which made other people who were at the hospital for the birth of their own children miserable. A Brooklyn man, Neil Coulon, had a couple run ins with her security while trying to check on his premature twins, who were in the hospital's NICU. He was stopped multiple times by her security because...well...just because they wanted to use the hallway and anyone else attempting to use it if fucking forbidden if Beyonce is using it I guess.
I think the whole thing is just complete bullshit. It's ridiculous that a hospital, it's staff and even patients have to bend over backward for a celebrity. Celebrities in general are just way too full of themselves and for the most part are completely fucking useless. They entertain us, sell us shit and serve as fodder...that really isn't worth all the money they get paid. The combined income of the hospital's staff is probably far less than what this Goldmember faux actress has made with her terrible music and movies, but what they do is so much more valuable. They save lives, they treat diseases, they bring life into the world, they give the ailing hope. Beyonce gives us fight scenes with Ali Larter and songs with such stupid lyrics they push people to shooting their brains out just to get them out of their head.
I guess this makes me Anti-Beyonce, but really, I'm anti-most celebrities because they really aren't worth what they get paid and their shitty music and movies aren't going to cure diseases or teach a child to read or stop war. They're worthless, but because they sell they will earn more money in a day than the Average Joe will earn in a year or even a lifetime in some cases. They'll make ridiculous demands that just have to be met because they have the money and fame. That's totally reasonable, right? (This is where an *eyeroll* comes in.)
Why should we care that this person had a baby? Because the media says so? There are other babies being born in this world, more important babies that will be known for being something more than Beyonce and Jay-Z's kid when they grow up into adults that will maybe cure cancer or help to end wars or teach children how to read and write. What that means, folks, is that Beyonce's baby really isn't that important and not worth all the's just a celebrity baby that will grow up to be just like the egg and sperm that made it. A Hollywood Kid that will try to act and sing or design a line of ugly clothing that the masses will buy up just because they're essentially told to....which is the same reason this woman is rich and famous in the first place.
So in conclusion, Beyonce had a baby....who gives a fuck? Oh, and surprise surprise, it was a C-section. Is that the only way celebs give birth, is having their kids cut out of them? Is this to save their vaginas from being blown out when they have to resort to porn at the end of their careers? Let's save the C-section rant for next time...and I leave you with a Beyonce classic..please don't blow your brains out....


  1. I don't think this chick really had a baby. Lets look at the evidence. 1st, she shows off a baby bump at the mtv-something show. She's due in Feb. I briefly mentioned to my sister also due in Feb that they were having babies at the same time. But then she had those staged bikini photos in September with a supposed baby bump. The bump was much smaller than her mtv bump. She really just looked like a skinny girl after a Thanksgiving meal. Then she does that interview where she was caught on camera bending over and the 'bump' caved in. Wendy Williams had a ball with that footage on her show. Then all the sudden Beywolf is due around xmas and has a huge belly. Right. You can have no belly in Sept and give birth a few months later. I'm not buying the b.s. around this baby. I think the only reason the were so crazy at the hospital is because they didn't want to be discovered as using a surrogate. It's all really lame. And I'm sick of hearing about their lil beybey.

  2. OOOOhhhh...that's some scandalous, Area 51 shit right there!...I bet that the babies surrogate is really Kate Gosselin. She could use the publicity, either her or Octo-mom.

  3. Thanks Shannie, I just lost my supper to the toilet with the thought of either of those two bio-incubators serving as anyone's surrogate.