Sunday, January 15, 2012

This Just In....Brad Pitt's Shit Actually Does Stink

I know this isn't exactly a news flash, at least not to the people who actually aren't fans of the pretty boy. Everyone already knows the guy's got no talent, the only reason he's got a career is because people think he's hot. We all know he's a dick of epic proportions fucking around on his wife with his co-star. And if he didn't constantly bring up his ex in interviews the world would probably forget about him, which would be fan-fucking-tastic because I'm sick of his face and the pubey beard he keeps growing on it. We know all this...but did you know the dude is an icky perv?
When Pitt is brought up, the first chicks he brings to mind are Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie, but he's dated other well-known chicks in the past before them. Remember he started banging Gwyneth Paltrow when they made Se7en together? He was actually engaged to her for a while and then she moved on to Ben Affleck, who I don't really care for either, but he's the lesser of two evils and his work with Kevin Smith makes him likeable, but this isn't about Assflack, this rant is all for Brad-y Poo...
Do people remember who he was dating before Jolie, before Aniston, before Paltrow? Before he was the doucheriffic assmunch he is today with his....what's that fucking word people use all the time when they talk about all the kids him and Skeletor have together? Brood? I'm going to call it his clusterfuck of kids...
So anyway, before he became whatever the fuck he is today, he was dating Juliette Lewis...which is nasty in and of itself because well, it's Juliette Fucking Lewis...I wanna douche my mouth just saying that name aloud.

She's just that gross...and she's a Scientologist, fuck, I feel dirty. But let's move forward, best not to linger on Ms. Lewis when we've got a bigger satchel of nasty to talk about....
Pitt's relationship with Lewis is remarkable not because he fucked around on his wife with her or because he had a shit load of kid's with her. It's remarkable because when he hooked up with her, she was only six-fucking-teen and he was a full decade her senior. We should have known then that this guy is a elephantine piece of human shit with zero fucking morals.
He fucks around with teenagers, makes shitty movies, has no talent, puts his dick in a corpse-like starlet with swollen vagina lips on her face and procreates, further contaminating the gene pool...and that, my friends, is why Brad Pitt Monkey Spunk suck, blows and takes it up the ass as a human being....and why yes, what comes out his ass really stinks. It reeks. It makes you gag. Brad Pitt, Hollywood Fertilizer.




11 comments:

  1. Wait, Juliette Lewis is a scientologist. I hate them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So . . . . . . what you're sayin' is . . . . you really don't care for Brad. I just needed some clarification, 'cause I couldn't quite tell from your post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really? You got that from this? No, no...I LOVE PITT!!! (My cyber eyes are rolling)

      Delete
  3. LOL..you got that impression,huh?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pitt did do one of the funniest things on live tv EVER. If you recall when the ahole Mel Gibson got arrested for drunk driving some years ago and he harassed one of the female officers and called her sugar tits. Anyway, after that he was at the Spike something or other awards and he was presenting for something and Mel came up on stage and Brad said to him, here you go sugar tits. I almost died! But I never knew about his date lil girls thing. Gross.

    But speaking of creepers, another one is that Paul Walker. I used to think he was hot but then he had that teenage g/f and married her the minute she turned 18. He was 30 something at the time. Creepy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's not ignore Wilder Valderama. I loved him on That 70's Show and then I realized the age difference between him and Lohan when they were dating and had an "ewwwww" moment. But that wasn't just a one-time thing for him. He's in his mid 30's and still dating barely legal starlets. The latest was Demi Lovato who JUST TURNED 18 this year. It's reported that they recently broke up after dating for a year (or more).

      Delete
  5. You're right on that one Deni, he's a creeper too. Maybe thats why he does that Handy Manny show. Hmmmm. Somebody should check out his computer, there might be a stash of child porn.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow, what scuzzy ass guys. I didn't know that shit about Paul Walker, but I barely know who he is and don't care to lol...Wilmer is a total pervo fucking around with these teeny boppers. Wasn't he messing with Ashley Simpson too when she was young? Didn't her and Lohan have some kind of petty catfight bullshit going on because of him? The other icky thing is that Miley Cyrus kid dating dudes in their 20's when she was like 15 or some shit and her dad being fine with it. Like honestly, do people really believe these kids aren't fucking their older boyfriends? Or fucking at all? Look at Britney Spears little sister...she ended up a teen mom...and now she's got zero career. Parents need to think hard before letting their kids have all this freedom to fuck around....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When your kid is a billionaire for being a tongue tied tard, I would have a hard time telling them what not to do...Keep acting like a shithead Miley Sweetie..cha-CHING!!

      Delete
  7. You're right, that Miley chick has always been wild. Her parents don't seem to care.
    Wilmer is gross, I just found this about him and a lot of those chicks were youngin's back then.

    http://gossip.about.com/od/celebrityinterviews/a/WilmerHoward.htm

    ReplyDelete