Saturday, May 12, 2012

Prostitutes Done In By Butt-Dialing

Damitra Sullivan
Crystal Adams

Nico Brown
     Two drug fiending hookers, who were peddling their punani for a fix, and their John were done in by one of the jonesing prostitutes’ 911 dialing ass and all three have now been arrested. Friday morning, Crystal Adams and Damitra Sullivan were doing a little negotiating with Nico Brown, trying to swap poon for dope when the ass of one of the hookin’ ladies turned snitch and dialed 911. The operator who took the call and heard the deal go down was able to triangulate the location of the Dimwitted Trio through the cell phone signal and send officers to the area to wrangle them up before any cooter-for-drugs swappage could happen.
     The dialog below is from the butt-dialed 911 call and because the original article ruined the fun and turned all the naughty words into expletives, I’m going to do a little Mad Libbing and add my own sentence enhancers in place of those joykilling censors. You’ll know which words are mine because they’re colorful and also because it’s pretty fucking obvious.

911 Operator: “Where's your emergency? Hello ma'am, can you hear me? You've dialed 911.”

One of the Semen Receptacles:  “She'll give you a (rim job) for…” 

Cum Unloader: “She won't do it for free?”

One of the Semen Receptacles: “Do you have any buddies that want to freak? I want to get (puke-inducing) naked and (butt-fucking) high.” 

One of the Semen Receptacles: “And what do I gotta do?” 

Cum Unloader: “I want you to (hum into) my (asshole).” 

One of the Semen Receptacles: “For that?” 

Cum Unloader: “Yeah, I'm not gonna give it for free.”

It’s rare to hear “I’m not gonna give it for free” from a dude so this was refreshing. It gets old when you only hear it from Kardashians and equally glorified leg-spreaders. It makes you almost feel for the blue collar vagina vendors. Instead of a quick fix, Sullivan and Adams are facing solicitation charges and their drug dealing patron gets his own charges for possession of marijuana and cocaine instead of his joint worked on. Crime, like herpes, truly is a gift that keeps on giving.


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