 | |
| Damitra Sullivan |
 | |
| Crystal Adams |
 | |
| Nico Brown |
Two drug fiending hookers, who were peddling their punani for a fix, and
their John were done in by one of the jonesing prostitutes’ 911 dialing ass and
all three have now been arrested. Friday morning, Crystal Adams and Damitra
Sullivan were doing a little negotiating with Nico Brown, trying to swap poon
for dope when the ass of one of the hookin’ ladies turned snitch and dialed
911. The operator who took the call and heard the deal go down was able to
triangulate the location of the Dimwitted Trio through the cell phone signal
and send officers to the area to wrangle them up before any cooter-for-drugs
swappage could happen.
The dialog below is from the butt-dialed 911 call and
because the original article ruined the fun and turned all the naughty words
into expletives, I’m going to do a little Mad Libbing and add my own sentence enhancers
in place of those joykilling censors. You’ll know which words are mine because
they’re colorful and also because it’s pretty fucking obvious.
911 Operator: “Where's your emergency? Hello ma'am, can you
hear me? You've dialed 911.”
One of the Semen Receptacles: “She'll give you a (rim job) for…”
Cum Unloader: “She won't do it for free?”
One of the Semen Receptacles: “Do you have any buddies that
want to freak? I want to get (puke-inducing) naked and (butt-fucking) high.”
One of the Semen Receptacles: “And what do I gotta do?”
Cum Unloader: “I want you to (hum into) my (asshole).”
One of the Semen Receptacles: “For that?”
Cum Unloader: “Yeah, I'm not gonna give it for free.”
It’s rare to hear “I’m not gonna give it for free” from a
dude so this was refreshing. It gets old when you only hear it from Kardashians
and equally glorified leg-spreaders. It makes you almost feel for the blue
collar vagina vendors. Instead of a quick fix, Sullivan and Adams
are facing solicitation charges and their drug dealing patron gets his own
charges for possession of marijuana and cocaine instead of his joint worked on.
Crime, like herpes, truly is a gift that keeps on giving.
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