|The epitome of beauty and grace|
|A puffy faced Lindsay arrives to court|
|The $11,000 fur coat Lindsay "didn't steal"|
In May, she stole a $11,000 fur coat. She denied taking the coat but was later photographed wearing it. Bitch literally lives in a glass house!! What the fuck made her think....nevermind. In March, a warrant is issued for her arrest for breaking the terms of her probation, because she could never be bothered to show up for her court mandated alcohol counseling. 3 days later, the warrant is recalled after her Lawyer clears up the "misunderstanding." A week later, she is photographed wearing stolen earrings. In April, cops are called to her girlfriend Samantha Ronson's house because Lindsay is trying to break in. Cops let her go. In June of that year, she does a photo shoot for Elle magazine. After she left, it was discovered that $400,000 worth of diamonds that were used are missing. In October, she is an hour late for court to review her DWI case. Although she still had not completed the court ordered alcohol counseling, she is given another year to do so.
In February, her probation report reveals that, a month after leaving rehab for the 3rd time, she failed a drug test. In April, she misses court on a civil suit filed by the 3 people that had been in the stolen Denali she was driving. Instead she is photographed out shopping. 8 days later, she misses the rescheduled court date. She claims that she couldn't get a ride to make the 10 AM appointment, but was photographed leaving a club at 2 AM that morning. 2 days later, she is accused of stealing a $35,000 Rolex and is later photographed wearing it. In May, she shows up 22 minutes late for the 3rd rescheduling of her civil court case. She was photographed leaving a hotel at 2 AM that morning. Sometime during this time period, photographs surface of Lindsay sitting next to a table with lines of cocaine on it and what appears to be a rolled up dollar bill in her hand. Later that month, she is back in court for repeatedly violating her probation. Instead of any jail time, she has to wear an ankle bracelet that detects alcohol. In June her bracelet goes off. But she avoids going to jail by paying the $200,000 bail before the warrant can be served. July 6th, Lindsey is sentenced to 90 days in jail and 90 days of rehab for completely blowing off her alcohol counseling classes that she had 18 months to do and had gotten an extension on for a year 10 months earlier. She claims that she did the best that she could. 12 days into her 90 day sentence, she is released due to "jail overcrowding". In August she, begins her court ordered 90 day rehab. She is released 23 days later. In September, she fails her weekly court ordered drug tests and tested positive for cocaine. Instead of going to jail, she is fitted with another alcohol bracelet and is allowed to stay home while awaiting her next hearing. In October, she is again sent to rehab for 90 days. The judge warned her that if she did not complete rehab she would receive 180 days in jail. She tested positive for alcohol while in rehab. In December, she was caught trying to sneak out of rehab and hits the rehab employee that caught her. No charges were ever filed.
In March, Lindsay leaves a club and hits a man in the parking lot and leaves the scene of an accident. She later switches seats with her passenger and no charges were filed. In April, 3 days after being taken off probation, she is involved in an altercation at The Standard Hotel and Night Club. She denies being there, although 3 witnesses and surveillance video say otherwise. No charges are filed. 2 weeks later, while at the same nightclub while partying with her dad, she's involved in yet another altercation where she throws a drink a chick who had told her how fucked up it is to party with your dad. Father, Michael Lohan, denies that the incident happened. No charges filed. Friday morning, Lindsey was found "unresponsive" in her hotel room when someone tried to wake her. Her personal alarm clock called producers of her current epic fail of a movie "Liz and Dick", who advised them that it might be best to call paramedics and the fire department. Upon their arrival, they were able to rouse the sleeping beauty *cough cough*. They determined that Lindsey was severely exhausted from her "grueling work schedule" and slightly dehydrated. Which I translated to mean "passed out drunk and had cotton mouth". She is now being treated for "exhaustion". Yeah, I wish I could afford to be "exhausted". According to Lindsay, on her Twitter account she's worked 85 hours in 4 days. Now I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to math but I do have a handy dandy calculator. That's 21.5 hours a day. Maybe if she didn't take 84,000 smoke breaks a day and could remember her lines she wouldn't have to put in so many hours. After her cracktastrophy biopic of Elizabeth Taylor for The Lifetime Movie Network is done, she's planning on staring in a low budge straight to Netflix soft core porn disaster called The Canyons. The directors are promising full frontal nudity. Yeah, no shit. Like we haven't seen that before.
|Trying to tell the judge something with that fingernail?|