Sunday, June 17, 2012

Squid Gets Woman Pregnant


Yes, you read that headline right and no, we're not talking about some crazy hentai shit either. According to a scientific paper from The National Center for Biotechnology Information in Bethesda, Maryland, a 63-year-old woman in South Korea, became "pregnant" in her mouth after eating the shit half cooked. The woman went to doctors complaining of a pricking foreign sensation in her mouth. After examination, the doctor reported finding several "bug-like" organisms on her gums, tongue and cheek. The baby cephalopods are small pods covered in a cement like substance that attaches whenever they are ejaculated. 

Fortunately for her, she spits not swallows and didn't ingest any of that shit. After being hospitalized doctors were able to remove all the critters. I wonder if they hadn't removed them if she would have eventually given birth to them. All those slimy ocean swimmer wriggling around in her mouth. She could totally get used to that, right? Over 6 decades of living, I'm sure this lady has had her fair share of jizzum cocktails, so the feeling of swimmers in her mouth probably isn't completely alien to her. Kidding.

Although there have been several reported cases of Squid impregnating people's mouths, it is still a mystery as to how they are able to do this. Getting knocked up in the mouth by squid is more common in Asian countries because they don't remove all the internal organs of the squid when they are being prepared. Thankfully, in Western countries, we remove the sexual organs and don't actually have to worry about accidentally eating sea life spunk. If you visit a foreign country in the east, I would suggest you steer clear of the calamari.

4 comments:

  1. I was just thinking about how it's been a long time since I had fried squid...now I definitely won't be having any...ever again. Or can I have a shmashmortion?

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    1. I tied it one time not knowing what calamari is. I didn't care for it. Too chewy.

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  2. The woman smoked a cigarette with the squid before going to the hospital.

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  3. nice posting.. thanks for sharing.

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