Today, I bring you stupid news from my side of the coast. A thieving Walnut Creek woman was done in by her own stupidity when she attempted to rob someone of their hard earned dough and purchased groceries on their credit card. What got her dumb ass caught? When she paid for the groceries with the stolen credit card, she used her own Safeway Club Card to save on her ill-gotten groceries. Police were able to track 34-year-old Traci Wheeler right back to her front door through the information on her club card account.
Apparently, Wheeler stole a woman’s purse and wallet from Skipolini’s Pizza, whatever the fuck that is, and then got all spend crazy with her new found fortune. She made purchases at Safeway, Shell and chevron, spending $118, before the stolen card was deactivated. Being a thrifty thief proved to be Wheeler’s downfall, though, and once police checked Safeway’s records, they were over to Wheeler’s place to arrest her for suspicion of identity theft, burglary and forgery. She bailed out the following day for an unknown amount and as of yet, hasn’t been charged. Why the fuck not?
|Security footage of a hatted Traci Wheeler|
It’s my Friday and I’ll cry if I want to…hey, I’ll channel Lesley Gore if I damn well please. I am out for the next couple days, but, as always, I’ll be checking in to mingle and consort with you awesome and hopelessly devoted shit talkers…What? I can’t throw in some Olivia Newton-John a la Grease? I’m tired and it’s after midnight here on the West Side, I’m bound to get a little goofy and start spouting off nonsense and quoting the randomness that pops into my head. Someday, we’ll have to do a week of hiding quotes in write-ups and seeing if anyone gets them. Have a fantastic weekend and I’ll be back before it’s even over for you normies, so you won’t even be long without me. How great is that? Anybody else missing Shannie? :(
|This may piss Shannie off enough to make her pop in for a visit.|